Right, this little chap needs some
explanation. Last year in 2017 I was diagnosed with clinical depression. It was
a very unhappy time for me, but good medical care, medication and counselling
helped me see my way through. However it’s not a condition I was totally cured
of. I feel that I have a greater understanding of it, and am better able to
deal with it, and that’s a big thing in itself.
Without wishing to bore you with all
the gory details, imagine, if you will, a little demon sitting on your
shoulder, constantly whispering to you all the worst things that you think
about yourself, and doing it in your own voice. Of course I don’t really hear
actual voices – this is just a metaphor – but maybe if you’ve never suffered
from depression it might give you just a little idea what it can be like.
I’ve never felt quite as bad since I
returned to work about a year ago, but I do still have days when I start off feeling
really bad, and I say these are the days that the ‘demon’ is whispering
particularly loudly. I know that usually if I start off a day feeling really
low it does tend to pass by mid-morning, which I believe may be something to do
with hormone levels. So I’m coping. Still, today was a bad day, and I started
off the day feeling very low and empty, and it didn’t get much better for
several hours, which is why I decided to sketch my little demon, if nothing
else, as a way of saying – I know what you are, and today you haven’t manage to
hurt me, so get stuffed! - One day at a time. Doing it one day at a time has
got me almost through a whole year so far.
There is a voice,
That whispers when I'm low
That seeks to drag me further down
I know
That he will go.
My demon of depression.
Chatter on,
Chatter on,
One day you will be gone
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